The more I go to horse shows, and the more I interact with horse people, the more I have come to recognize that there are four basic types of horse husband.
1. The Tail-Gater
This kind of horse husband doesn’t know much about horses except to perform the odd task when requested (holding stuff, fetching stuff, etc), but they are nonetheless enthusiastic supporters of their wife’s equestrian habit. Why? Whether at a horse show, or just hanging around the barn, chilling with horses is a great excuse to enjoy the sunshine and suck down an adult beverage or two. The more social tail-gaiters can frequently be found flocking together around a cooler or portable grill. But there is room in this category for the more introverted as well. Give a tail-gater a place to drink a beer and have a nap, and they’ll pleased as punch.
2. The Detached Supporter
Unlike the tail-gater, the detached supporter is rarely seen at horse shows and almost never at the barn. They don’t love horses, but they love that their wife loves horses. They do what they can to support their wife’s passion, even if they greet ‘horse talk’ with a blank stare.
3. The Horse Hubby
To become a horse husband, all you need to do is marry a horse girl. To be a horse hubby means to embrace horses as a central part of your life without actually becoming a horse person yourself. The horse hubby holds stuff and cleans stalls when requested. They take a keen interest and do all that they can to learn about their wife’s passion, knowing that it is important to develop a shared vocabulary. The horse hubby rarely rides, but they are nevertheless active in their support. They volunteer at events, take pictures, bring snacks, and are an enthusiastic cheer leader.
4. The Kool-Aid Man
After years of experience as an interested bystander, the Kool-Aid man comes to the point of thinking that they might want to try their hand at horsemanship themselves. They buy a horse. They start to compete. Even if they don’t ride, they enjoy barn life and romanticize about becoming a ‘gentleman farmer.’ They quit their job and commit themselves to running a barn/farm full time. They drank the Kool-Aid and they liked it.
Other Types of Horse Husband (Reader Submitted)
5. Just Passing Thru
Another type is the “Just Passing Thru” husband. He is self absorbed and thinks this is just a phase she is going thru. He looks for every opportunity to sabotage his wife’s passion and doesn’t seem capable of looking beyond himself to realize he is destroying his wife’s spirit and probably the marriage. This type is pervasive but has a short life span (as a husband that is). [Submitted by John Spalding]
What kind of horse husband are you? Are you a type of horse husband that is not represented in this list? Let me know in the comments below.
Pictured: Brandon Kircher, husband of three day eventer Candace Kircher.