Three horse show essentials no one wants to talk about

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Let’s face it. Horse shows aren’t the cleanest places on earth.

Horse shows are dirty, which means that YOU will get dirty. Your wife expects and is expected to accumulate all kinds of horse schmutz over the course of the day, but it’s easy to forget that us guys are also bound to get dirty by proxy. Dust, hay, shavings, drool, sweat, manure … and that’s just what we end up coming into contact with as a result of dealing with our wives. If you happen to be a more active horse husband who deals with horses directly, then God help you.

It’s bad enough that horse shows are dirty. What makes matters worse is that most horse shows lack the facilities necessary to get clean. A single day of grime is not a problem, as it is rewarded by a well-earned shower upon arriving home. But a multi-day horse show that requires living out of the trailer for a few days is a different matter. Even if the grounds have luxuries like showers, you are often so tired at the end of the day (holding stuff and standing around is exhausting) that all you want to do is crash.

For me, cleanliness adds an air of civility to an otherwise Game-of-Thrones kind of situation. A clean husband is a happy husband. Your wife wants a happy husband. If you can figure out how to stay fresh on the go, it’s a win-win situation.

These three products are life-savers.

(NOTE: these solutions are not just great for horse shows. They are excellent for business travel as well)

Butt Stuff

Let’s start by mentioning the unmentionable. Do you ever feel…not so fresh? There’s something about single-ply outhouse toilet paper that never really satisfies. In contrast, pre-moistened flushable wipes are the bomb dot com. But no one, a man least of all, wants to trundle around with baby wipes in their backpack (unless you have small children, then you’re good to go). That’s why Dude Wipes are awesome. They are discretely packaged as singles, and so very easy t carry around in your back pocket. IF you happen to get caught with one while reaching for your keys, just say you use them to clean your phone (which is probably grosser than the outhouse, by the way). I also like that they don’t smell like baby powder. I hate the smell ofbaby powder.

The Nasty Bits

Showering is a real luxury at a horse show. No one wants to go to bed smelling like hay and horse pee. But if you are living out of a trailer, what are you supposed to do? This is a particular issue for those of us with allergies, by the way.

Fortunately, the same company that makes Dude wipes also makes body wipes. These are large enough to cover your whole body, and don’t smell terrible. I picked this trick up from colleagues who like to work out during their lunch break and need a quick ay to freshen up before heading into afternoon meetings. If you can’t find the time or facilities to take a shower, these are the next best thing.

(pro tip: if you want to use one wipe for your entire body, begin with your face. Don’t end with it).

Hair Care

I recently discovered the existence of ‘dry shampoo.’ Sounds impossible, right? Wrong. Science has found a way.

When I was younger, I went for years without using shampoo. I like what it did for my hair, but not everyone agreed with the smell. TMI. I wish I knew about this stuff then. I bet it’s what astronauts use.

The Dry Guy Shampoo is a powder. It’s all natural, smells great (eucalyptus, not baby powder), and is incredibly convenient. Simply apply to your dry scalp, rub in, comb out, and you’re ready to rock and roll. You’ll feel great, look fantastic, and smell way better than anything else you come in contact with at the stables.

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